Following through on our promises and commitments reveals reliability and generates trust. We become predictable in positive and productive ways. Displaying this type of deeply rooted integrity in leadership builds respect and credibility, characteristics that will lead to success in any industry.
At its core, integrity is about having a strong sense of right and wrong. It’s also about doggedly keeping our word, commitments, and promises. When we’re young, these honorable acts don’t seem to carry the same weight as they do in adulthood. Still, they serve as an opportunity to learn valuable lessons in integrity.
We may not realize it at the time, but what we learn as children about making and keeping promises affects us as we grow older. Only much later can we finally appreciate how our formative years shaped us, hopefully, into decent and dependable adults.
I’d like to share with you now an early memory of a broken childhood commitment that led to my better understanding of integrity in leadership.
An Early Lesson in Integrity
I remember it like it was yesterday. A fifth-grade costume party was being held at a friend’s house. Linda, a classmate, had invited me to go with her. After many conversations, my parents reluctantly agreed to let me go. I let Linda know right away.
However, as the party neared, I began to dread the “date.” I’d never been to a costume party and was no longer sure about going with a girl. Despite my earlier enthusiasm, I found myself chickening out.
I decided to call Linda and reject her invitation. My mother overheard me, which wasn’t surprising — we only had one phone and it was in the center of the house. That led to a crisis in our home and my young life.
In the days that followed, I learned an important lesson about making and keeping promises. Suffice it to say, after many tears and much grief, I called Linda back to apologize and reaccept her invitation.
Even today, 50 years later, I’m still deeply affected by this teachable moment of integrity from my childhood.
Why We Break Promises
Breaking my commitment to attend the party with Linda had been wrong. As a child, however, I didn’t fully understand why. As an adult, I know that there are many reasons we break promises and pass on commitments, especially in the workplace. (Though this still doesn’t make it right.) We’re all shaped and motivated in different ways, and sometimes our integrity in leadership roles fails.
For example, some people fear saying “no.” A woman wants to please her colleagues and clients. She wants to be liked and accepted. Because of this, she fails to reality test what’s already on her to-do list. Too many yeses are a sure sign of failed promises to come.
Others lack self-awareness and therefore deceive themselves. They fail to set boundaries on their time and effort. The result is too often an over-promise and under-deliver.
Some lack urgency and fail to prioritize. They stay busy, but with trivial endeavors instead of those that are most important. Without a careful, prioritized action list, there’s no way to follow through in a timely way.
And yet others may confuse the promise. When this is the case, the person often is saving face and attempting to avoid a situation. He said yes, but he was thinking no. This is a signal of passive-aggressive tendencies. For people like this, keeping promises and maintaining integrity in leadership is just too much work.
There are also those who have poor short-term memory and forget to record their commitments. These people are surprised when someone is upset that a task isn’t completed.
(Re)Building Integrity in Leadership
Children are resilient. Mistakes, such as bailing on an obligation, often turn into valuable teachable moments that guide us into adulthood. Adults, however, may have a harder time steering away from poor habits that have been ingrained over many years. Luckily, building (or rebuilding) integrity isn’t impossible.
Here are a few simple ways to practice integrity in leadership:
- Follow through on your commitments. If you say you’ll do something, actually do it. This will help you build trust and respect among your colleagues and clients. Be the person that others can always depend on.
- Show respect in return. Kindness and courtesy go a long way, especially when you’re working to build your integrity.
- Treat everyone equally well. Regardless of a colleague’s role within the company or the size of a client company, be sure to show everyone the same level of respect, kindness, and courtesy.
- Above all else, be honest — with yourself and with others. Communicate openly and own your mistakes. Develop an unwavering moral compass and let it guide you in all you say and do.
Following Through
Think about your behavior in the workplace. How often do you say “I might…” or “I’m thinking about…” or “Let me work on that idea a while” instead of a definite “I will.” These are all missed opportunities to show integrity in leadership.
Our words are important and reveal character. A voluntary “I will” statement is a breath of fresh air when we consistently fulfill the commitment. It also distinguishes us from others.
How can you begin practicing integrity today? Start by making a promise to yourself to follow through more often. Develop a remedial plan concerning what you’ll do when you fail or get too busy. Following through with resolve enhances internal credibility and our sense of value. Confidently and consistently say “I will” and then go out and do.
How do you set a positive example of integrity for others as a leader in your business? Let me know in the comments.