Do you know how to deal with failure in a positive, proactive way? Many of us, myself included, tend to beat ourselves up. We linger too long with regret — and perhaps even guilt. But what if instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, we took a different approach?
According to My Modern Met, Kintsugi is a Japanese art form where the artisans repair broken pottery with gold lacquer. Instead of attempting to hide the brokenness, the cracks are highlighted, leading to a unique piece that’s even stronger than the original. Kintsugi is a great metaphor for navigating failure and embracing change in our lives.
Because we’re human, we’re imperfect. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and failure is inevitable. And in those moments where we fail, we can’t help but feel like victims. Some people make excuses, while others wallow in self-pity. But the select few who know how to deal with failure choose to begin the process of repair, development, and improvement.
If you’re struggling to handle imperfection and shift your mindset, here’s how to deal with failure.
Embrace Challenges
Hard times and difficult decisions don’t have to crush us — rather, they can teach us how to deal with failure in the future. Candice Kumai says: “You won’t realize your full potential until you go through the tough times.” The difficulties give us the pause we need to evaluate and make course corrections.
Moving through challenges allows us to observe our resilience and teaches us lessons we may find hard to find when we speed through life. Expecting perfection in the face of obstacles is a surefire way to be disappointed with the outcome.
So, instead of resisting challenges, embrace them by accepting that sure, you might fail, but you’ll also get to learn something new about the situation or yourself.
Take Time & Proactive Steps to Heal
The key to knowing how to deal with failure is to be proactive. You can choose to ignore the problem you face and doom yourself to self-loathing or repeated failure, or you can own your brokenness and learn through the experience.
Learning through the experience allows us to tell a more complete story and take ownership of our part. And as we take the time to heal from our mistakes, we learn how to deal with failure by learning more about the situation, what we did or didn’t do that led to the failure, and what we can do next time we encounter a similar challenge.
From there, we can take the steps to repair and make personal adjustments that make us better. Eventually, we’ll be able to point to the cracks as life lessons that make us stronger and more unique.
Be Vulnerable With Others
The best leaders are vulnerable with their teams. Share your failures, mistakes, and weaknesses, and create an environment where your employees feel comfortable sharing their own failures.
Those who know and respect you and have the opportunity to observe you probably already know about these from their experience with you. Being openly vulnerable creates empathy in the workplace and gives those around you permission to share their own challenges.
More importantly, an open, vulnerable workplace creates trust, cultivates a mutual support system, and fosters meaningful dialogue among coworkers.
Show Gratitude
Over time, sometimes years, we can show gratitude for the difficult challenges. We begin inwardly and perhaps outwardly to say thanks for the experience. This is a turning point that demonstrates you’re a work of human art that is masterfully built, cracks and all!
Our challenges and failures don’t have to crush us. On the contrary, they can be the crucibles in which we find meaning and life purpose. Accepting failure and embracing change turns us into survivors and owners of ourselves and our choices.
As we grow, knowing how to deal with failure becomes almost second nature, as does showing gratitude. And while we can never escape failure, every time we put ourselves back together, so to speak, we become stronger versions of ourselves.
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