A successful mentorship requires preparation, proactive questions, and persistence on the part of the mentee. Your job is to take the lead because you are accountable for everything from finding a mentor to your ultimate success — and, therefore, for your journey as a whole.
A mentor isn’t merely a guru or sage who sits with you, spouting wisdom and advice for you to absorb. Rather, you as a mentee should be willing to take full ownership of the learning and follow through with putting what you learn into action.
Here are four things to keep in mind when it comes to finding a mentor and pursuing a mentorship.
Know Yourself & Your Needs
Finding a mentor is about more than just knowing which field you want to be mentored in and finding the best in the business. Everyone responds to different types of leadership styles, and you want to make sure you find someone whose leadership style you connect with.
Before you even start your mentor search, make a list of the skills you admire in your previous leaders. Were they hands-on or hands-off? Were they unabashedly direct or more mindful of your feelings? Knowing exactly what qualities you want in your ideal mentor will help you narrow down your search and find the mentor who’ll bring out the best in you.
Then, in preparation for your first meeting with your potential mentor, know the answers to the following questions:
- What are my personal and professional strengths and weaknesses?
- What do I need and want to learn?
- What is my why?
- What are my goals and aspirations for the future?
For your best shot at finding a mentor you click with, it’s essential that you know yourself and what you hope to get out of the mentorship.
Set Boundaries
Mentorships work best when both parties articulate their expectations. Upon finding a mentor, make sure to clearly communicate what you expect to learn. Don’t be afraid to establish boundaries, and make sure you respect your mentor’s boundaries, too.
Perhaps you have children to care for in the morning and can’t schedule meetings until after 10 a.m. Your mentor needs to know your boundaries (and vice versa) so you can both effectively communicate and plan for meetings.
Hold Yourself Accountable
You are the owner of this learning opportunity, so be punctual, keep your promises, and follow through with your commitments. Don’t expect your mentor to follow up on everything and keep on top of your progress. You’re in control of how much you learn and how successful the mentorship ends up being.
That said, mutual accountability is key in any mentor–mentee relationship. You also want to trust that your mentor will follow through with their promise to act as a mentor. Before finding a mentor, establish what level of involvement you expect. Do you want someone who checks in every day or one who hangs back and lets you take the lead?
Welcome Feedback
The best way to improve is to openly accept feedback — both good and bad. After all, mentorships are about more than just finding a mentor; they’re meant to challenge you so you can improve in your chosen field.
Don’t just tolerate feedback defensively — really listen to what your mentor is telling you, and don’t hesitate to ask for clarification or advice to improve. To get the most out of your mentorship, it’s vital that you have the uncomfortable conversations about your shortcomings and take the necessary steps to grow beyond them.
Finding a mentor doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about knowing yourself, knowing what you need (and expect) from your mentor, and holding yourself accountable throughout the process. By putting in the work to find the right mentor, you’re laying the foundation for a successful mentorship journey.
What do you look for in a mentor? Let me know in the comments.