Have you ever wondered why, exactly, some leaders thrive in their roles, whereas others struggle to gain their teams’ respect? Emotional intelligence and leadership haven’t always been seen as interrelated, but emotional intelligence is, in fact, a skill that every effective leader possesses.
Over the last few decades, Daniel Goleman has studied — and written several books on — emotional intelligence. He stipulates that while being smart and motivated are important, they do not guarantee success. He further suggests that five qualities in particular can be learned and developed in the crucible of working within teams and organizations.
Here are five signs of emotional intelligence and leadership skills to look for in potential employees and yourself.
Self-Awareness
Our ability to recognize and understand our own moods, emotions, and drives enables us to observe how they each impact those around us. Too often we allow our defensiveness to blame others and dismiss the feedback, but the more we examine ourselves and let feedback sink in, the more we can be proactive, accept our flaws, and make progress.
Self-awareness creates a workplace where employees feel comfortable sharing and asking for feedback. If the idea of criticism makes you nervous, try laughing at your weaknesses and encouraging your team to do the same.
After all, an authentic leader — one with strong emotional intelligence and leadership skills — is more relatable and trustworthy to his or her employees.
Self-Regulation
To self-regulate means to control our reactions instead of letting our reactions control us. In other words, self-regulation is our ability to think before we act. Next time you feel yourself becoming angry or upset, pause. Ask yourself why you’re feeling that way and whether the most effective response is anger or something entirely different.
If you later realize you wish you hadn’t responded the way you did, apologize and respond appropriately. An apology is a learning pause that quickens our self-regulation. A team respects a leader who can admit to his or her mistakes, hold themselves accountable, and vow to do better next time.
Emotional intelligence and leadership aren’t just about reading other people’s emotions — they’re also about understanding and regulating your own.
Motivation
The best leaders are driven by motivation and a passion for what they do — not for money and status. When our motivation is set on bettering the professional and personal lives of our teams and customers, we are more likely to lead with a measure of genuine service.
Modeling a genuine enthusiasm in the workplace is a great way to engage your team and ultimately create a more meaningful work environment.
Empathy
Empathy is our ability to truly understand the motivations and reactions of others. It’s the capacity to ignore ourselves long enough to “walk a mile in another’s shoes,” as the saying goes. An empathetic leader isn’t one who tries to fix others but rather one who seeks a deeper understanding of what triggers and motivates them.
True empathy takes emotional intelligence and leadership — and most importantly, a willingness to take the time to understand. But if everyone does their part to understand each other’s perspectives, you can foster more meaningful dialogue in the workplace.
Social Skills
Some people believe that only extroverts can be social, but actually, introverts can become very adept at networking and building relationships, too. Just like emotional intelligence and leadership, we aren’t born with social skills, and we don’t learn them in school. They must be learned and honed over time and through our experiences.
While some are fortunate to have natural-born emotional intelligence and leadership skills, most of us have to work on them over time. A great leader is the glue that holds the team together, who models a strong work ethic, mediates healthy conflict, and creates a unified workplace.
What signs of emotional intelligence and leadership skills do you look for in your potential employees? Let me know in the comments!