Sam has potential. As his supervisor, you see this potential in his eagerness and desire to serve. You also see that he is a diamond in the rough. He is making mistakes in his work and seems to depend on you to be his quality check. You need to give Sam some constructive criticism, but the last thing you want to do is dampen his spirit. He could be a valuable resource in your department with some encouragement and fine-tuning.
All of us face this kind of dilemma. The best managers learn how to give feedback in a way that encourages rather than discourages our co-workers.
THE MOST COMMON STRATEGIES ARE INEFFECTIVE
Unfortunately, this aspiration to lift your employee up while also providing criticism is hard to do. Thus, we can make big mistakes in the way we approach this conversation*. The following scenarios are ways that managers try to provide constructive feedback to their employee, but ultimately are ineffective:
“So, how’s it going?”
With this approach, we talk about the weather and the football game, but we have difficulty finding the subject. All the while, it’s obvious to the co-worker we have something serious to discuss.
The Oreo Cookie
We have been taught this approach by many in practice. Always sandwich a criticism with praise on either side. The problem with this method over time is that our co-workers begin to assume that every praise will be followed by criticism and the positive comments begin to become meaningless.
Too Many Pillows
I like to call this sending smoke signals. We use metaphors or tell stories that have nothing to do with this situation, but loosely relate to the issue. We hope that the employee gets the message intended.
Machine Gun Nelly
With this approach, we store up all the criticism for one blast of criticism. The annual evaluation might be the time we unload our grievances. There are better ways to perform employee evaluations.
These styles are less than effective. At the CrossGroup we teach a model that encourages ongoing conversation. The best feedback is accomplished in a dialogue. This takes courage and self-regulation by managers.
THE CROSSGROUP FIT MODEL
Our FIT model helps construct our part of the conversation, and the focus is always on healthy dialogue.
Facts
Always start with the facts. At the beginning of the conversation, you may be tempted to only state one fact. Instead, come to the conversation with several. These may be your own observations, measurable findings, or a departmental report.
Interpretations
Share your explanation or opinion about the fact(s). These may include the impact on you personally, the implications for the team, your own emotions, or the importance of the issue for the employee and organizational purpose.
Test
Invite the co-worker into the conversation. Ask him for his point of view. Speak tentatively enough with your facts and interpretation to allow him space and encouragement to engage in the conversation
As we practice this approach, we build trust and ownership in ourselves and others. We see the model as cyclical. We continue the conversation using facts and interpretations in a balanced approach and always keying in on what the employee sees and feels.
PLAN AHEAD AND PRACTICE
You can construct a 60-second script that gets you right into the conversation and allows the employee to be engaged from the beginning. Don’t memorize it, but cover the points and engage the employee in the first minute.
Try it! I have found that as I practice to fit the model, I can deliver the message and I receive valuable insight into the employee, his understanding, and the situation or issues. This encourages trust instead of destroying it.
Here’s an example of how this conversation might go: “Sam, you may not be aware of the mistakes you are making in your report each week. I have been making corrections to the report before I share it with the leadership team. Let me show you last week’s report with my corrections. I know you are interested in getting it right and sharing the workload with me so I’m open to your ideas. Please share your insight as we go through the report together, so I can help you grow in this area.”
This dialogue gets right to the heart of the issue while telling the employee you see and appreciate that they are engaged and working hard. You will find that employees appreciate straight-forward discussions about expectations because they know where they stand and how they can improve. Everyone wins.
*Susan Scott points out big mistakes managers make when trying to constructively criticize in Fierce Conversations, 2017.
