People work differently today than they did 50, and even 10, years ago. Technology, generational differences, and other changes affect present office dynamics. Using your influence rather than making demands is a proven way to effectively collaborate with your coworkers, discuss expectations, and lead with success.
“I work in an organization where I depend on others for quality and timeliness with assignments. We have an informal reporting structure, which makes it challenging to manage expectations and keep track of work. For example, I give work to a Specialist and manage deadlines, but I am not her supervisor or manager. I don’t have any way to constructively criticize work or discuss expectations over missed deadlines. This creates stress and uncertainty, not to mention missed deadlines and quality issues.”
Help,
I’m Stressed!
I can understand how feeling out of control can be stressful. You have personal standards for your work and feel like you can’t extend those same standards to those you work with. This creates a mismatch of expectations. Essentially, you are describing our need for influence in today’s work environment.
Command and control leadership is no longer effective in our post-modern structures. In fact, it was never effective leading “up” with our boss or working laterally with our peers in the organization. I want to challenge your assumption that you can’t share constructive criticism and discuss expectations. There are ways to be influential in the organization across many different types of relationships. You can affect change, just in a different way than you are used to seeing. This approach requires a set of skills and competencies that will reap dividends across your professional career.
Start with relationships
We all have a need to know others and to be known. This is sometimes not evident in work settings; it may feel like we are just being paid to get work done. However, building relationships is essential to our well-being. I believe people crave genuine relationships where the other person demonstrates they care about them as a person. Go out of your way to connect and build relationships with peers. When a genuine relationship is built, giving and receiving feedback becomes more effective, natural, and easy.
Find ways to help the other person
Reciprocity is a part of our human nature. People who go first and help us in some way are often rewarded with our help later. We need to take a healthy view of our motives here. If I help others because I want to support, provide resources, remove barriers, or some other unselfish reason, I am not being manipulative. Be open to opportunities to help others, and take the time to act when an opportunity presents itself. In addition, we must allow freedom for the other person to be reciprocal and help us.
Create partnerships
Partnerships are negotiated agreements about expectations and responsibilities. Partners don’t necessarily have authority over each other; rather, they agree to work together in specific ways. In negotiating your partnership, you get the chance to explain your role and hear about the other’s role. You both gain a view outside your silo. This allows both of you to grow in your understanding and appreciation of each other.
Seek and make commitments
We all want to be consistent. We like to keep our promises. Don’t hesitate in handing off an assignment. Ask the other person to commit to specifics about completing the assignment. You can make commitments to the person as well. As you make and keep promises, the other is more likely to do so as well. This helps build relationships and create partnerships.
Follow up
It is perfectly natural for you to follow up about agreed deliverables and timing. Asking about a commitment in a friendly supportive manner reminds the person that this is important to you personally. Asking “how can I help you?” is a helpful phrase; it lets them know you want them to be successful while ensuring the work is completed. You will learn how to effectively follow up as you learn the motivations, personality, and passions of those you work with. You’ll learn all these things about your coworkers if you do the work in building relationships as described above.
Influence works in many ways to broaden our efforts and increase our impact within the organization. You are building a network of coworkers who are also learning how to improve the organization and working relationships. This makes you a valuable employee to the company and peer to your co- workers.
Building genuine relationships and helping others succeed enables you to have a positive and natural dialogue with them about working collaboratively. You don’t need to be someone’s boss to share work and expectations. Instead, you just need to be open to giving and receiving feedback, questions, and suggestions as you continue to build your relationship while improving your organization together.
