Let’s dispel some myths about introverts. Common misperceptions include: introverts don’t like people and are anti-social, that they aren’t good at interacting with others, and that introverts can’t function in a social environment.
The truth is that introverts often do enjoy working with people they know. They tend to build deep, long-lasting relationships. At the same time, meeting new people and introducing yourself in a crowd of unknown people is stressful for many introverts. While extroverts gain energy in this setting, introverts find this draining.
So when it comes to networking, what’s an introvert to do?
Prepare
Going into a networking event with no plan is a great way to waste time. However, wrong expectations can derail the value you get from attending an event. Be sure to reflect on what you hope to accomplish and set reasonable expectations that play to your strengths.
One way to prepare is to memorize some helpful conversation starters. Here are few for you to make your own:
- How did you get started in your career? (or with this industry?)
- What brought you here to this event or conference?
- Hi! I’m new to the company (or event) and don’t know many people here. Mind if I introduce myself?
- Where are you from?
- How do you feel about X? (new product, new legislation, new trend in the industry)
- What do you wish someone would have told you early on in your career?
- What have you enjoyed most about this conference or event?
- How do you spend your time outside of work?
- Man, these networking events can be so crazy. Mind if I join you over here where it’s a little quieter?
- Have you found a great restaurant nearby? Or if in your city, where do you enjoy eating?
- What drew you to that line of work?
- What do you like about your job?
- What did you think of the keynote speaker?
- What have you learned so far at the conference?
Another preparation concept is to give yourself some quiet time before and after a networking event to refuel. Read a book. Enjoy a walk in a park. Call a close friend and hear their latest news. Do whatever allows you to refocus and regain your energy.
Be present
As an introvert, you likely have already honed your listening skills. This will come naturally to you and it is surprisingly effective. Think about the last time someone really listened to what you had to say without interrupting, sneaking a peek at their cell phone, or losing focus. True listening is rare, which is why we value it so much. Treat the person in front of you as if they are the most important person in the room. In this present moment, they are. Tune into them. Be curious and patient as you converse.
Listening adds oxygen to most conversations. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t want to be heard. So, play to your strength. Smile and give lots of non-verbal and verbal feedback to demonstrate you are listening.
Plan an exit strategy
If you are an introvert, it is a temptation to stay with one person (probably another introvert) too long. However, if you are networking, you need to talk to numerous people.
Here are some ideas for making a smooth exit:
- What’s the best way for me to get in touch or follow up with you? Then hand off your business card, ask them to connect to you by email or LinkedIn.
- Ok, I’m going to get some food now that the line has died down a bit. It was great meeting you!
- Have you met Sam? He works in your industry as well. I’m sure you both will have plenty to talk about. I’ve got to say hello to someone.
- Well, I think it’s time for me to head out. I would love to talk with you again, though. May I have your card/contact information?
Introverts can and should network. You and your organization will benefit from an expanded network. Treat every networking event as a learning opportunity. Reflect on what you learned and keep building your networking skills. You can do this and do it well. I look forward to hearing back from you about what you are learning and practicing these simple techniques.
