I have a designer friend who accepted a job that she knew she could really own. In the interview process, she was encouraged to hear that she would have the opportunity to (finally) utilize her talents to move the company forward in creative and innovative ways.
It’s been 6 months, and she’s more discouraged than I’ve ever seen her. She accepted this job with an excitement that was missing in her previous role. She saw an opportunity to make a difference and got the impression that her new team was looking for someone to bring change to improve the organization. In those first few critical months, she began to realize that her lived experience was not measuring up to the interview. Her ideas to improve processes were rejected by her team, and she found that her manager would often side with junior team members for the sake of maintaining the “this is how we do things here” mentality.
She quickly realized she did not have support from her boss to move the company forward, which is what drew her to the position in the first place. Now, she feels like she’s a “nobody” at work, and therefore, does not feel motivated or creative in her work.
How should I encourage or guide my friend?
-Nobody’s Friend
Life can be discouraging. Our best-intended actions can be counterproductive. My heart goes out to your friend as her situation clearly illustrates the importance of motivation in feeling satisfied at work. It sounds like she needs your friendship and encouragement. Perhaps you can add new perspective.
In reading your story, I found my curiosity directed towards the boss. I wondered what he or she would be writing if asked to describe this scenario. Perhaps he or she is also discouraged and by practicing counterproductive behaviors. It’s all about perspective.
We are all human.
Bosses and employees share the responsibility of acknowledging when we make mistakes, misjudge intent and actions, or miss the picture entirely. Our behaviors are well-intentioned, but our actions are often misinterpreted, misunderstood, or misguided. The boss, the team, and your friend are all human. There are no innocent victims here, and everyone plays a part and can become owners or “somebodies”.
Let me explain by starting with your friend. You paint a picture of a victim who is trying to “own a job” instead of owning herself and her responses to some negative circumstances. I find victim thinking always leads me to be reactive and those responses lead to ineffective action. It is indeed sad when we allow these thoughts and reactions to shape our self-image. Your friend feels like a “nobody” because she is choosing to think of herself this way. I believe she can change, but it will require an intentional shift in her approach.
The Importance of Motivation Shifts
What if she was to ask herself: “What’s the best action that I should be doing to make a difference in this situation?” This simple question can lead to personal ownership, which highlights the importance of motivation and spurs us towards productive behavior. For instance, one way to exhibit ownership is to make promises to your trusted confidants that you will (rather than should) take specific action. Rather than expecting immediate change, over time, your friend will begin to learn about the boss, the team, and the organization. She will develop a new purpose to better understand all the well-meaning humans (not enemies) that surround her. This new purpose will pay off with feeling like a “somebody” who can know her surrounding cast and facilitate effective change within the organization’s culture.
How will this change her relationship with the boss? The boss will begin to understand her beyond the posing that occurs in all interviews. With this newfound perspective, your friend will know the best communication approaches, the speed of change in the organization, and understand the boss’ purpose. In addition, she will begin to give the boss the benefit of the doubt, allowing him or her to be a human with flaws and strengths as well.
How about the team? We all resist change, particularly the ones imposed upon us. What might be the outcome if she spent the next three months getting to know her team? What if she asked them what is going well and what needs to be changed? She could explore barriers and challenges. She can ask about available resources, or the lack thereof. In this learning, she will likely find ways she can support the team, and she will better understand how and when changes should be implemented.
What are the alternatives?
She could leave and start over somewhere else, but I’m afraid she will face the same challenges and risk making the same mistakes.
Owners always ask: “What can I do to be effective right where I am in an imperfect system?” The answer to this question is often difficult because we all long for perfection within imperfect systems. It requires a humble and courageous response, as well as a willingness to work on improving one’s skills as a leader.
Often this response requires change personally in perspective and action. I will leave you with this quote from Maya Angelou, which encourages me. “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”
I invite your comments and insight. How have you seen the importance of motivation – whether intrinsic or extrinsic – represented in your line of work?
