How do you handle failure as a leader? When one of your direct reports fails, you help him or her identify the issue and make adjustments to be successful in the future. Why then, as a leader, is it hard to give that kind of grace and support to ourselves? How can we show our team our failures and learn from them? Can we build a culture where failure is ok?
Some of the greatest leaders in history experienced failure. The reason they are in history is because they didn’t let that failure define them. We can learn from their example in that we should embrace failure and let it guide us. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
We know that failure is a part of growth, so what does an effective leader do to make sure a failure is a milestone along the way to success?
First, we must admit it.
No one recovers from a failure that is not identified. The first step in learning from your mistake is to see it and admit it. Otherwise, we are living in our own excuses and the fantasy of our own perfection. Leaders are humans and humans fail more often than we are willing to admit.
Own your failures and learn from them. What emotions are you feeling? What went wrong? What assumptions were made? What were your behaviors and thoughts? How will you self-manage to prevent future letdowns? When you’ve had a setback, it’s very easy to start thinking that you will always keep failing in this area of your life. You might even be thinking that you are a failure. Don’t let this false and destructive talk get to you; you may have failed but you are not a failure.
It’s difficult, but I think you’ll find that once you admit the failure and your part in it to yourself, you will feel relieved. Sitting with this knowledge will help you work through failures much easier. Then, articulate it to those who were impacted by your mistake. Don’t make excuses or place blame on others. Express your apology and move forward with positive, corrective actions.
Then we can learn from it.
Some see admitting to failure as weakness. Instead, your co-workers will see it as strength if you truly learn the lessons and apply corrective personal behaviors. Failures become weaknesses when we don’t see them or don’t admit them. Your colleagues see your mistakes, so admitting them and learning from them encourages your team to do the same.
Express your regret, but don’t stop there. State your action plan for correcting the failure and then move forward. Sometimes it is helpful to allow your team to communicate additional steps that could be corrective. This promotes team openness and vulnerability.
I’ve heard it said that anyone who wants to do things of value in life will fail. While most of us often only hear people’s successes, we must remember that the path to these successes have many setbacks. These setbacks are where success is born and nurtured.
Lastly, it’s important to move forward.
Moving forward without dwelling on your failures can be formidable for those of us who are perfectionists. Sometimes it helps to seek coaching or mentoring if you find you continue to “beat yourself up.” Private encouragement and suggestions can help you see the bigger picture and capture your strengths instead of reliving the mistake. Talking with your mentor or your boss will help you see your contributions to the team when you may only see your failure. Allow others to support you in your growth.
Most importantly, especially as a leader, allow others to make mistakes.
Teach what you are learning to your team. Allow them to be human and learn from their own mistakes as you are. Take them through the lessons you are learning. Teams that struggle, learn, and grow together build natural trust. Being open about your mistakes encourages others to do so, and helps everyone feel seen as a person, and not just an employee, when they are at work.
My best learning takes place in the crucible of failure. I’m a better consultant and trainer because I am also flawed. The more we can see ourselves in this way and allow others the same benefit of the doubt, the better leader of people we become.
Because he is one of my favorite leaders, I conclude with this Churchill quote: “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
